World's Worst Jobs I

Some of you out there may think you have a lousy or bum job and wish you could escape to something better. But before you do anything rash, just take a look at a couple of really bum jobs and see if you don't then think differently about yours and decide instead to count your blessings. Unless of course you're already doing one of the world's worst jobs! So here we go...

Rich pickings... pity it's shit!

This job opposite has to be a serious contender for the worst job in the world. It may not be hazardous (though I'm not too sure about that) but aside from that it's not got a lot going for it. Catching giant elephant turds in a sack as they are ejected from the animal's backside is not for the squeamish, but, on the evidence of this picture, the fairer sex may be better equipped for this kind of work. Just kidding! But the woman doing the collecting here seems to have a knack for it, keeping her head well back, and looks bent on harvesting a bumper crop of turds. Let's hope she has a second sack standing by just in case, you never know. Let's also hope she gets a promotion after a few years of bagging elephant shite while others stand by watching and snapping pictures for posterity.  After all, such a... shitty... job is not for everyone. Well, would you do it?

Now let me see, where did that thermometer go?

Let's now go on to see another contender for world's worst job, still on the same theme, since we're in crap mode, as it were. If you thought the above job was bad enough, the individual in this next crappy job has gone one better and literally wormed his way up the elephant's arse! Whereas the woman above waits for the shit to come to her, this guy is pro-active and goes after it deep inside Dumbo. He's probably on a tight schedule and can't hang around waiting for a dumb elephant to shit at will. Ready or not, he's half way up Dumbo's arse before anyone can say Oliphant! Moreover this technique has the advantage that he can cherry-pick the best of the crop. I only hope he's remembered to take a torchlight with him because I imagine it's pretty damn dark in there! 


Well, there you have it. Two literally shit jobs out of a host of shit jobs, all of which means I'll be back with some more samples of contenders for the title of world's worst jobs. So, are you already seeing your own job in a different light, appreciating its good points and its perks more than ever before?  I hope so.

The Rhion Antirrion Bridge

The Rion-Antirion bridge is the World's longest multi-span cable-stayed bridge. It crosses the Gulf of Corinth near Patras, linking the town of Rion on the Peloponnese to Antirion on mainland Greece.
 (Rhion-Antirion Bridge))

Its official name is the Harilaos Trikoupis Bridge, after the statesman who first envisioned it. Harilaos Trikoupis was a 19th century Greek prime minister who suggested the idea of building a bridge between Rion and Antirion; however, the endeavour was too expensive at the time.

The 2,880m-long bridge dramatically improves access to and from the Peloponnese, which could previously be reached only by ferry or via the isthmus of Corinth at its extreme east end. Its width is 28 m - it has two vehicle lanes per direction, an emergency lane and a pedestrian walkway. Its five-span four-pylon cable-stayed section of length 2,252 m is the world's second longest cable-stayed deck; only the deck of the Millau Viaduct is longer at 2,460 m. However, as the latter is also supported by bearings at the pylons apart from cable stays, the Rion-Antirion bridge deck might be considered the longest cable-stayed "suspended" deck.

This bridge is widely considered to be an engineering masterpiece owing to several solutions applied to span the difficult site. These difficulties include deep water, insecure materials for foundations, seismic activity, the probability of tsunamis, and the expansion of the Gulf of Corinth due to plate tectonics.

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And now for a very different kind of bridge, every bit as functional as the one above but perhaps with a slightly more homely feel to it. But, who knows, it might outlast the Rhion Antirrion, as some of these living bridges have already lasted hundreds of years!

For those of you curious to learn more about these bridges, which, paradoxical though it may sound, are both natural and man-made, they are known as root bridges and are to be found around Cherrapunjee in the north-eastern corner of India.

Is this the end of the Postman's bike?

On the grounds that the postman’s traditional bicycle is no longer able to do the job expected of it because it cannot cope with the much greater volume of mail that our lovable postie is now called upon to deliver, the Royal Mail (the British Post Office for our non-British friends) is planning to ditch Old Faithful (the bike, not the postman) and replace it with some new-fangled motorised mini-van or other four-wheeler with a greater mail-carrying capacity. It might look something like this...

... or this...

Or neither.
Yet this new technology would be totally unnecessary if the Royal Mail would just take a few tips from other countries where the potential of the trusty environment-friendly bicycle is fully exploited. Take a look at the picture below. With just a modicum of ingenuity and a dash of entrepreneurial initiative, the problem is solved overnight without the need to scrap anything or spend vast amounts of money to put something in its place.

Surely this is the way to go? It's just a question of maximising one's resources and making the most of one's options. True, the traditional Royal Mail bike would have to be tweaked a little here and there, posties might need a little re-training, but the changes would be minimal and the cost negligeable.

So what do you say, Royal Mail? Is this in with a chance? Is this a winning solution?

Awful Predicaments

Dear oh dear, some days just don't start right! This poor old polar bear is hanging on to that knob-end of ice for dear life, but it's not looking hopeful. Another couple of hours at most and that stub of ice will have melted beneath him and he'll be in the drink. And I think he knows it despite the look of feigned nonchalance! I just wonder whether he has a Plan B as he clings to his ice mushroom while he takes stock of his situation. If Plan B is for him to sink gracefully below the waves and drown, he's on to a winner, but if he hopes to come out of this predicament alive and kicking he'll have to come up with something pretty sharpish.


His options are distinctly limited. He can wait for a passing ship to spot him and rescue him - unlikely to say the least. He can sit tight in the hope that a larger ice-flow drifts his way - chances of this are slim as the knob of ice he's on hasn't got long to go. Or he can make a dash for it and try to swim his way back to firmer land. As we cannot see the bigger picture, it's impossible to know how feasible this is. And, frankly, he doesn't seem to have set his mind to the task. Nonchalance is all very well but some situations call for action. But maybe he's bypassed Plan B altogether for Plan C. Pray for a miracle! Not very practical, but it does give the comforting illusion of there being a number of alternative plans and therefore a chance of survival.


Well, there we must leave our intrepid Mr Bear as he ponders his fate in this vast expanse of ice-cold sea and perhaps devises a way to get out of this fix. But maybe he doesn't need to come up with anything and rescue is close at hand. After all, he's been caught on film, so what does that tell us?!