Taking the Bull by the Horns!

Ouch!!! That must have hurt loads. The damn animal has gone straight for the goolies. It might look like a tickle but it may well have punctured the balls-bag or even scraped the toreador's love-rod. Either way our hero's love-life and even his procreative powers may have been put on hold... for good!. But it's really his own fault.

That's what can happen when folks won't leave our horny friends alone and make a sport out of tormenting and killing them. They're liable to get very bullish and go for the jugular, or in this case the dangly bits, especially when they stand out so well in those man-tights. Our four-legged friend here has evidently had enough of this bullshit and decided to horn in on his tormentor's love factory to teach him a well-deserved lesson. And who can blame the poor animal?

And here's another one. Right in those damn goolies again! And it looks like the horn's gone in deep and may have re-arranged the torero's manly parts. One thing's for sure, it's not improved things and another love-life may have gone down the proverbial toilet. So unfeeling of the bull! Instead of going down quietly in a pool of blood, it's tried to take its tormentor with it or at least shake him up a bit.

But once again our valiant matador (which, by the way, means 'killer' in Spanish) has only himself to blame. He's been nothing but beastly towards the beast and his intentions are far from benevolent. So I reckon the creature figured it had nothing to lose and if it had to go down it might as well go down fighting. One can't fault the logic.

Postscript:
On a more serious note, this post follows on the heels of the vote taken by the regional government of Catalonia in Spain, which has now banned bullfighting in that region. I thoroughly applaud this move and am astonished that such a bloody sport has gone on for so long, and I wonder how long it will be before the rest of Spain follows suit. The moment has come to call time on this brand of savagery.

Funny Photos II

What a cute little kitty this poker-faced pussy is! And what lovely headgear! He really looks the business, a modern-day Nordic warrior, in feline form of course. And he's taking it so seriously, he's just made for the part. He doesn't need the excuse of a bike or motorcycle to wear protective headgear, you just never know when you might fall on your head. And it's such a snug fit that I wouldn't be surprised if he wears it to bed at night. It also does away with the need for ear-muffs to keep out noise that would stop him from getting a good night's kip. Yep, he's a kool kitty kat, no doubt about it, and he knows it. And just take a peek at those mean-looking whiskers of his. They sort of give him the look of an oriental sage, a sort of wise warrior. But don't underestimate him: he's mean, he's lean, and he's keen, and if he has to wear a watermelon helmet to get respect, he'll damn well do it! He may look silly but he's no hill-billy and no skitty little filly. He's a cocky cat. In fact, you might say he's the cat's whiskers! Hahahahahaaaaa. Sorry, couldn't resist that one. But you get the picture, I think. Enough said.

Now this chap, who might be an ostrich or an emu, is a very different kettle of fish. He’s not cute, not cool, and definitely not a kitty-cat! He’s scruffy and weird-looking and he has no time for silly headgear. But appearances can be deceptive, and make no mistake, he’s no push-over. With that vicious beak of his and a foul temper to match, he’ll have your nose off before you can make a run for it. And even if you do try to do a runner, he’ll be digging his bill into your hind quarters before you’ve taken a dozen steps. Yes, sir! He’s meaner than a soldier ant and a lot bigger. Look at those piercing eyes fixed on us. He’s got us well and truly in his sights and there’s no doubt who’s the boss. He might be a right scruff and in need of a make-over and a new hairdo but he’s no-one’s fool. If you diss him, you’ll have his rock-hard beak and his sledgehammer legs to answer to. Either way, you’re goose is cooked! But hey we might be misjudging the old fellow and doing him a grave injustice. He may be ugly, scruffy and weird and look as though he’s gone without sleep for a month, but inside he's probably the meekest, mildest softy ever born with not a bad bone in his bird body. You just never know!


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Funny Photos I

This moggy looks like it's seen a ghost and crapped itself and I can't say I blame it. Who wouldn't crap themselves if they saw a ghost? And more to the point, who wouldn't look like that if they saw a ghost?  With its eyes popping, its mouth gaping and its tongue poking, I'd say it's lost most of its nine lives at a stroke, poor little pussycat. But the worst thing about all this, at least from our point of view, is that we don't know what's caused little moggy to put on such a horrible face. Or could pussy be just putting it on for a photo opportunity? In other words, is Mr Cat just winding us up? If it is, all I can say is that it's a damn good actor and should be hired on the spot to star in some Hollywood movie. It's sure to be a blockbuster and it can't be worse than the latest crop of crap (hey, I like this match.. crop of crap.. nice) that's doing the rounds at the moment. It could be given a title like: Moggy, the Magpie Mugger. What d'you think?

Now here's a chap, a llama I think it is, who has seen better days, I'd say. He may not have crapped himself like pussy above, but he certainly looks like crap! Lost half his gnashers, jaw gone all wonky, eyeballs bulging, ears standing to attention, smelling like a dead rat and in dire need of a wash and brush-up! He's a right scruff and he knows it. It's just as well he's in a zoo, otherwise he'd be on a funny-farm waiting to kick it. But I dare say he wasn't always like this. There was probably a time when he could give any hot-blooded female a run for her money and vied with the best of the young studs for the hand of Miss Right. But looking at him now, I'd say that's a distant memory and it's all he can do to keep his pecker up and stand upright. Poor sod! It's a dog's life, that's what it is.